Tomorrow marks the start of my 13th week as a federal government employee in a field that is as far removed as can be from my career path prior to retirement as a Navy medical service corps officer. For one, not only am I an Army wife, but I am now an Army civilian working in the Signal Corps. Totally different environment than the medical department officer training arena I have been devoted to for the last few years and the military medical business in general.
I’m thankful that I was able to get a job but not a week goes by where I haven’t beat myself up with a wet noodle that I have to leave Bella in preschool all day while I am at work. How many other parents go through that guilt trip? All I can do is take it one day at a time, hoping that the smile I see in the morning when I drop her off is still there when I pick her up at the end of a long workday. I have to admit that there are moments when I am grateful that this new job is “fun” money…when I get through a good day and the people I deal with throughout the week, I truly value and enjoy it. It is getting better and Bella doesn’t say she wants to stay home as much which makes getting ready in the morning easier. I admit, I didn’t even check to see if I got paid until after my first month on the job!
why kick a gift horse? Since hubby is gone for a year, I didn’t want to have a significant gap on my professional resume, especially since I didn’t give myself a year to prepare for retirement, instead crash landing into the retirement zone with 4 months of preparation. Not the ideal situation, but since those are the cards dealt, we push forward and play that hand.
Could we survive without the 3rd paycheck this new job provides? Yes but it would mean cutting back on investments as well as other “niceties”
Do I wish I were doing something different? Sure, usually when I realize that my creative juices have been severely stunted by the need to sleep… But the desire to have professional interaction on a regular basis, even if it is a purely administrative job that requires significantly less travel and less responsibility over others (2 or 3 individuals and their schedules and travel vice dozens more and their programs as well as their travel)…
Do I miss the intensity of being the go-to person for big dollar and politically sensitive issues? Heck yea. But this is a good transition job into the next phase of my life, whatever it may be…because regardless of what my day to day job is, I’m always a mother first and foremost, and Bella has grown leaps and bounds with the positive influences of great teachers and people we meet along the way.
But I still wonder how to carve out an extra couple hours a day to be creative and be a supermom…
embrace the suck God has never presented us with more than we could bear in our relationship. We sucked up the fact that in our first year of marriage, I spent 10 months at sea on an aircraft carrier out of Japan and hubby was in Saudi Arabia. We made the best of it and every 3 months or so, we had a mini honeymoon wherever I was: homeport Japan or some other port of call like Guam or Hong Kong. We were able to meet up with family in Guam and pals in Hong Kong. We made the best of life by embracing the suck of being apart as newlyweds.
We also sucked it up when I was deployed when our first born was only 13 months old. Being hormonal was going to happen regardless of whether I was in Afghanistan or in Texas. Hubby did not have to deal with the emotional ups and downs but he did have to adjust quickly to single parenthood and a full time job, just like many other military families. He changed many a poopy diaper, which I appreciated! We tried to manage each others expectations while I was gone, an experience that helps now that he’s deployed and I’m the main caregiver at home.
While I truly missed them day in and day out, I was eternally grateful for being given the opportunity to again be at the tip of the spear, serving my Country, and witnessing heroes in action. Now it is papa’s turn in the box.
We all embrace the suck in time of peace and definitely in time of conflict and war.